A Start… (Part 2)

You can find Part 1 here.

9^th March – There’s absolutely no point for me to keep going out at this point. I already know the outcome, I’ll achieve fuck all and waste time.  I turn to the LSS online forums (London Seduction Society), and head to the “find a wing” section. I’ve been to the regular Saturday sarges and had mixed results with finding a wing there, mostly negative. Too many socially awkward dudes, and walking down Long Acre St in a group of a dozen, while eyeing off every semi attractive girl wasn’t my idea of day game. I’m happy there taking action to improve their lives, but I’m after a wing with social skills and some fluency in day game.  Luckily I stumble across George, a sharp dude mature beyond his years yet in his early twenties. We meet up at Covent Gardens and grab a bite, before hitting the streets.

We walk around for a bit, before we decide not to waste the day. We take turns to approach. George goes first, a few minutes later I approach a short tanned Aussie lass, the interaction is ok, we chat for a few minutes and then it fizzles out. The anxiety, hesitation and bull shit I dealt with in the last few days are all but gone. There’s a slight churn in my stomach when walking up to her but otherwise it felt great. I breathe a massive sigh of relief. Effortless it feels. Such a small task but it feels like a massive achievement. A few hours roll past and we’ve done around 6 approaches each, with minimal success. I get the harshest street blow out I know of, the side step, from a cute Asian girl. Finally on Carnaby St, George hits pay dirt with a cute bird, I think she was French, he bounces her for an i-date to the nearest coffee shop.

This leaves me in a familiar place, on the streets of London on my own.  I dawdle around Carnaby St for a few minutes. I’m buzzing with adrenalin and gusto from what I’ve already achieved. At this point I don’t care about the outcome of an approach, just getting in front of a girl, opening and getting some words out is enough. I can’t go home at this point, it would waste this high, a cloud 9 like feeling, yet I feel vulnerable to the big bad world without the comfort of my wing.  I see a short blonde girl aimlessly meandering down Carnaby St, I do a hesitative dawdle and then take the plunge. Fuck it, let the world see what I’m doing. I go in front and I open. It goes okay, she automatically responds with “I have a boyfriend”, the 5^th time I’m hearing this, but I plough on and make conversation, she’s a stylish Essex girl. It fizzles out and it ends there. I’m over the moon, another solo approach under my belt.

In hindsight I notice that once opened and interacting with a girl the whole world is out of my vision or concern. People could be watching, pointing and starring and I wouldn’t even notice. I head to Covent Gardens, easily my favourite area in London, away from the rush of Oxford St and with a much slower chilled pace.  I dive straight into it and approach 3 more girls near the markets. Nothing comes of these, yet I’m the happiest man in town.  I decide to call it a day and head to the tube stop at Charring Cross.

Due to the frenetic pace of London streets, most people aside from tourists are hurriedly attempting to get somewhere while jostling for path space. This leaves, in my observation the majority of people typically unaware of their surroundings, including the people within their near proximity.  I mention this because as I’m walking towards the tube station I lock eyes with a short blonde bird, she flashes me a half smile as we walk past each other.

I know what that means – IOI. I’ve only once acted on it before and it went great, time to repeat this.  I make a u-turn and approach (yad stop I should mention). I make up some opener off the cuff and it hooks near instantly. Her eyes light up and it’s on, her electric blue eyes, smooth fair skin and blonde hair are such a pull for me. She’s Canadian and in town for the day on a work trip. My spider senses fire up, she starts telling me how she’s single and wants to travel and have adventures, not ready to settle down after breaking up from an 8 year relationship, in town for a day and so much more.

The words adventure sex are floating in my mind.  She wants to see all things British so I give her a quick walk around Trafalgar Square. She has an unexplainable urge to visit Fortnum and Mason for cookies, so I take here there. She takes my lead on every occasion and I notice her pupil dilation widening and a sparkly shine in her eyes. The vibe is electric. We walk over to Piccadily Circus and sit on the monument and share some cupcakes she bought. An hour in and she’s invited me out for drinks later that night and wants to see the nightlife in town. But she has a work meeting/dinner at 5pm with someone in the British Police.  We swap contact details and hug – she holds me really tight and thrusts her tits into me – Wowser.  In hindsight I should have gone straight for the kiss right there, as it would be the last I saw of her.

Genevieve and the i-date to nowhere.

I send her a message later that night but radio silence. I end up watching the FA cup quarter final between Arsenal and Man Utd with my housemate.  And yes I keep checking my phone – incessantly.  Thru the night I keep thinking the cop is bending her over the nearest piece of furniture and banging her brains out, provided he has half an ounce of game. His gain – possibly. I’ll never know.  And so begins the near misses of day game.  Nevertheless I’m thrilled to have such an opportunity and an awesome day out. I’m proud to have found a kick ass wing, numerous approaches under my belt, solo ones of particular importance and an insane interaction to end the day.  Onwards and upwards I say.

A Start… (Part 1)

The binge on manosphere articles is winding down. I will continue to read selective blogs, but the time for action is now, more accurately the time for action was yesterday.  It’s time for me to hit the streets and start day gaming. It’s been 6 months since I stopped day game in London, and 4 years since I first dipped my feet into it while living in Perth.

2^nd March 2015 – I hit the streets to do some street approaches. It’s been almost 6 months since I did this. I end up dicking around for 2 hours. I turn to make 4 approaches, catch up to the girl and hit the eject button without saying a word.  I walk home, tail between my legs feeling cut with myself.  Regret cuts me deep and leaves a built up frustration. There is only one way to remove this frustration. It’s funny how I know the solutions to most of my problems from a logical perspective, but affecting a changed behaviour or action is something else.

 3^rd March – I head out again and I dick around for 2 hours. Same thing. Turn to approach, catch up to the girl and eject last minute. There’s a tension building in my stomach. It’s tight and churning. I stay out there. I’m walking around Covent Gardens and I spot a cute petite Asian girl walking around curiously. She’s clearly a tourist. I move towards her and eject again, but hang around. She takes a photo or 3 and keeps walking. This time I walk head-on to her…. and bam. I speak, words flow from my mouth. She’s Korean and in town for a few days. We talk for 5-10 minutes and I bounce Danbi to Monmouth for a coffee.

We drink our brew on the 7 dials monument for the next half an hour. I sit back and let her do the talking. She asking me questions, filling the silence and has a very strong feminine energy. My limited exposure to Japanese and Korean women has always been positive and I have an overall impression they are very feminine. At this point I’m totally relaxed, her English is really good, she understands wit, humour, and irony very well.  We swap details (LINE contacts – the Japanese/Korean version of Whatsapp). We swap a few messages later that night, she’s off to Oxford the following day. The next message I get from her, and she’s in Paris.

 4,5,7^th March – Some of the lowest days I’ve had. I dick around on the streets between 1-6 hours on any of these days and achieve fuck all. I go home beating myself up with blistered sore feet. The negative talk in my head is painful, even though I’m aware of it, I can’t stop it.  The tube rides home feel like an endless journey to nowhere.

Ra

Buffering…

It’s glaringly obvious to me that I’m avoiding the one thing I desire so much. Women. Recently I’ve moved to arguably one of the better cities (London) for capitalising on daygame and the most I’ve done is around 50 approaches in 2014. I have tons of spare time, I’m in the best shape of my life and to add I have money to travel Europe and enjoy life – not that the last 2 matter much. Yet I keep putting off the most desired action – Approaching women.  Since 2011 I’ve dabbled in game/approaching women. I’d say 95% has been daygame/street game, where I feel much more comfortable than bars and clubs.  Sometime last year in the middle of my red pill blog binge I read thru the buffers post by Rollo Tomassi and filed it away in my minds museum with some afterthought.  After a recent few days, of which I weaselled out from going onto the streets, the thought of this post and this video came to mind.

As per Rollo’s post, Buffers are:

“methods and means men use to reduce their exposure to female rejection. These are buffers meant to reduce the potential for this rejection of intimacy”

Basically I’m shielding myself from women’s rejection by conjuring up a bunch of excuses to protect my ego from the direct feedback I’d receive by approaching.  Here’s a list of the bullshit I’m using:

– The weathers crap/rainy/miserable/dark today and girls won’t stop on the street in such conditions, instead I’ll go when it’s sunny and nice.

For those living in London you’ll know the weather is usually crap and waiting for that sunny nice day will never come, good weather in London is like finding a unicorn. Even summer time doesn’t provide any guarantees. I know this, yet I keep pussying out using this excuse the most.  There are 2 huge malls in London and people tend to carry on with life regardless of crap weather.

– I’m not in the chatty happy vibe that I need to be in, for hitting on women. 

Over the years I’ve proved this buffer false, as many times I’ve gone out not feeling tip top and after approaching I’ve lifted my own state via interactions with women. I think state is fluid and can be altered thru means of connection with other people. Approaching women, especially after a good interaction can lift me up and keep me elevated for a large part of the day.  It’s also impossible to wake up and be “on” every single day and to be honest it happens a few days in a month to me.  In attempt to get a boost, I’ll have a coffee and then use the previous buffer to weasel out and stay at home.

On the occasions I have made it to central London, I’ll conjure up a few more buffers.

There are too many people here to possibly stop anyone, not enough space, people are watching me, I don’t have a wingman, I’m going solo and other London day gamers will see me.

Just writing this post makes me confront my last few months of outright failure and the amount of time spent in a state of inaction. Failure is probably not the right word, because the lack of action has prevented the possibility of any success or failure.  It also makes me wonder how far I could have progressed if I had put myself out there. The weasels/excuses listed above are the surface manifestations and I’m sure below the surface there is a deeper more psychological drive behind these, mostly unknown to me.  A long time mentor pointed out, that I don’t believe enough in myself and also, I haven’t faced enough rejection with life in general.  I wouldn’t be surprised if these are the forces behind it all.

Writing these very words brings an anxiety into me, a gut churn, a chill, a lump in my throat and a deep introspection.  I feel terrible and sad that I’ve wasted up to 5 months of my life I’ll never get back. Regret is painful.  I honestly don’t think I have that bad approach anxiety but rather my laziness places a large inertial force on me (me rationalising?).

It’s now or never for me, this is the best opportunity I’ll have in life, the now. I’m in a big happening city, lots of spare time and all other needs taken care of. It’s time to reveal me and put me on the line, take any rejection, learn from it and carry on stronger and more efficiently. A beta bucks lifestyle of no choice and scarcity awaits me if I carry on in the fashion of the last 5 months. It’s time to take a stand and make a change in my life, a painful but necessary one. My intuition tells me it won’t hurt anywhere near as much as my mind thinks it will.  Upwards and onwards.

Ra

Droppin’ Science

  63% of Australia is overweight.  Stats from 2007 break this figure down to 53% overweight and 15% as obese. Many other countries are practically the same or worse, UK and USA are in the same boat. Those numbers are from 8 years ago and I doubt it’s reduced.

  I’ll comfortably say that the statistics affect men and women almost equally. I’m not the tallest or bulkiest guy, so overweight women firstly aren’t attractive to me and secondly they’d probably squash me if on top of me. From a purely selfish point of view the pool of attractive women has considerably lowered in the last 2-3 decades and only keeps worsening due to the growth of waist lines.

  As a red blooded man, a sexually attractive woman is something I not only know I want and desire but something my limbic brain has a strong magnetic draw towards. And no matter what society may tell me, there’s no changing what this part of the brain considers attractive and arousing, nor do I want to argue with this.  Yes I like slim fit women and no amount of arguing is going to change that. Generally speaking the majority of men will have similar tastes as me and as always there’ll be some deviations and a minor few whose tastes are completely something else.  I don’t find overweight obese women attractive or arousing.

  The idea of the fat acceptance movement is absolute rubbish to me. I’m all for people being happy with who they are and accepting there present state, but as a dynamic man I can never stay at my present. Im all about growth and improvement whether that’s professionally, fitness, with women or a certain skill, I accept my current level of proficiency at any of those things but I always look to better my current level.  Strive to be a better you. Get in shape and find the knowledge to do so.  The toll it’s taken in reducing the number of sexually attractive women and men of the world is one thing and then there’s the toll on the health system to treating the various conditions due to this epidemic.

  The attraction cues for men and women are vastly different, men have a much stronger pull towards the physically arousing, which mainly comprises of a good looking face and slim figure.  Any man reading this already knows this is the primary pull. For women there is a lesser component of physical attraction to a man’s looks and physique and a range of other factors come into the mix (which I’m not going to elaborate on here).  This is why I say it’s more of an issue from my male perspective. Women themselves logically and instinctively know what men find attractive, a slim fit figure (over an obese woman), yet so many women (and men) ignore themselves.

  Get in shape, find the knowledge to do so. I repeat this sentence as I always thought getting in shape was purely about physical exercise. For so long I was missing the bigger part of the picture.  I’ve been gymming for the last 10 years along with many years of Futsal, road cycling, rock climbing and basketball. These combined have kept me in shape and fit, for the most part. My body fat levels have always hovered in the 18-20% range.  Only recently have I managed to drop my body fat levels to near single digits, as I’d missed a crucial part in all of this.

Find the knowledge.

  Only after moving to London in mid 2014 did I put in the time to research and read on what constitutes healthy eating. We’ve all seen the food pyramid trotted out by various government bodies and heard from friends what healthy eating is. And they couldn’t have stuffed more bullshit in our faces.  Part of my inquisitive nature is to question everything and find the reasons behind it.  Food knowledge is something I had for nearly ignored for the last 10 years.  Finding the knowledge when it comes to food has been a saviour to me.  Knowing what to eat and why has been my key to dropping close to 10% in body fat.

  The concept of healthy eating has been flushed down the toilet by the masses. The notion of fast food, for the most part an idea born out of the USA has spread its evils worldwide unrivalled. America itself is one of, if not the fattest nation on earth and I’d bet my money on the prevalence of cheap fast food and secondly the widespread infiltration of High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) into nearly every food product out there as big contributors.  In Australia and Europe the use of HFCS is much more limited. I personally consider HFCS to be the big brother of sugar.

  Find The Knowledge…. and a part of today’s blog is to drop some knowledge on you. Sure my blog gets very few readers and at times its me ranting, but I write as I enjoy the outlet my words give to me and to spread the ideas I’m accruing to better myself. One of the most influential bits of science I’ve stumbled across is the following video by Dr Robert Lustig.  I’ll let him explain in much more detail and clarity the effects of HFCS, sugar and alcohol.  I don’t have anything more to add to this video, in fact my knowledge on clean eating is all accrued from other sources and as a part of this blog I want to reveal these sources so you can put them to use in your life. Enjoy the video and yes it’s worth the 1.5 hours.

Love and Marriage.

As I and most of my friends approach 30, I’m one of few that remain single. Compared to the majority of my social circle and acquaintances, there’s one thing all of them are in hurry to tick off their checklists. Love and Marriage.

I would say 95% of them are all engaged, married or in super long term relationships (de facto). Many of them have already started popping out kids too. It’s crossed my mind, mostly since finishing university why everyone is overcome with some rush in their late 20’s to “settle down” (I hate that term). For what it’s worth, many play a game of one upmanship, bigger diamond, fancier wedding, exotic honeymoons and so on. But I see something else behind all of this.

Plenty has been said of Marriage 2.0 and most, if not all of my married friends have no idea what that term even means. I have minimal interest in taking part or even aiming to participate in it (if you can call it that). And yes you could say I’m bitter about all this.

What I’m about to state you’ve probably seen around you, but never questioned or analysed in greater detail. Let me shed some light on the observations I’ve made in the last 5-7 years. For most people in my social circle they typically date there girlfriend/boyfriend for around 2 years before he pops the question. As the current trend goes, he proposes with a diamond ring set in gold. If he follows the social trend he spends 10 weeks of his salary or some other arbitrary value of “X week’s worth of his salary” on compressed carbon. Typically in my friends circle it’s somewhere from $5000-$10000. Although one friends flew to the Middle East to drop $50,000 on a diamond ring, while my best mate’s girlfriend over the many years of dating had, implanted the exact details of the ring she demanded wanted and set a minimum price of $20,000 on her love ring. I never bothered finding out if he did this.

Once the proposal is done, a flurry of photos are taken, rock on hand and posted with a hurried gusto to Facebook, usually with the tag of “she said yes” or something similar. Following this, the next one to two years is spent in a perpetual state of wedding planning, mainly for her. His opinion on the wedding particulars is marginalised, yet their cash resources are pillaged and plundered all for her dream day.

If your friends circle is anything like mine, the men usually earn more, have saved more and are contributing more financially to the relationship. At times it seems, he’s just a walking talking bank at her disposal. The typical wedding amongst my friends starts at $50,000 and goes beyond. Im suspecting a few of my wealthier friends would have spent close to or more than 6 figures. Many a wedding I’ve been attended have been at the Radisson or Hilton hotels, which in Australia can be known for setting a minimum spend, I’m fathoming a guess of around $40-50,000 and then add on the extras.

At this point, most of my friends have spent their savings and are depending on a bank loan. Combine this with the property they’ve already bought or about to. Stick with me on this.

Most of the couples around me are also buying a house before they wed and if not are buying very soon after. Everyone it seems is sold on the idea that rent money is dead money. My friends are also with women fixated on the idea that home ownership is a must for a marriage. The Great Australian Dream.

Even the majority of my guy friend’s desire home ownership and most of them have bought a property. If you didn’t know, the average house price in Australia is in the $450-500,000 range. A 20% deposit is the norm ($80-100,000), so any savings the couple did have, are put towards the down payment for the property as opposed to the wedding.

Cue the mortgage repayments….. For a miserable 30-40 years.

None of my married or coupled friends are renting. The women have it in their heads that home ownership is a must, as do the men. A minority think renting is fine, but in my experience their ideas are trumped by what she says.

At this point you might start seeing the trend. Money, in particular the banks money, debt and more debt. It keeps going. Not sure if this idea plays out in other parts of the world, as some of my friends in preparation for kids have to purchase a SUV/4WD. The thought amongst many is that a family with 2 kids and a pet dog require a large off road capable vehicle to get around (currently I’m residing in the UK where hatchbacks are prevalent and I see families getting around just fine in a small Renault or something similar). Plus a 2^nd hand car is generally not par for the course so something brand new is required, and why not. Just re-finance the mortgage loan to include this too.

Post wedding you can also add on the honeymoon to the Maldives, Vanuatu or some equally exotic place. By now the crazy borrowing has hit its peak. Debt owed to the bank is in the $500,000 plus range and for my friends the party is over and it’s time to truly “settle”. I think many of them view this is as freedom or dream achieved.

At this point she wants kids and most of my friends are doing exactly that. His options are limited, work for the next 40 odd years to pay off the debt, as a wage slave chained to his desk. Job hopping yes, but to quit and take off for an exotic journey or an extended break is out of the question.

Her options on the other hand are slightly varied and she’s nearing 30 so the clock is ticking as they say. So pump out a kid or 2 and from there she has the option to be a stay at home mum, work part time or return to full time work. What about him….nothing’s changed. He’s still full time on the grind. I’m yet to see this, but in some very limited cases he may be the stay at home dad if she makes a decent pay packet.

So here’s the formula for “success”: Love + Marriage = Debt

Heck, I could even cut out love from the equation in some instances I’ve seen.

What do I see then ?

Debt and dead money. Interest repayments, real estate agent fees, upkeep and maintenance of property and cars, stamp duty, to list a few. Property as an investment is not guaranteed to go up, it may happen, but that’s not going to make the debt go away. The juicy 20% deposit on the house could have been play money which could be used to rent for years. Additionally, any income made by the couple could easily replenish the monthly rent, keeping near intact that approx $80-100,000 put aside for a home deposit. There are a few other reasons I’d argue against buying property too.

How is this debt ridden lifestyle played out by so many back in Australia, this is just what I see in my social circle. I can’t imagine how many times over this is being playing out across the nation and even across the anglosphere. Is this actually the gold standard of a decent life or just a mirage of that, which everyone falls for?

I for one cannot call this freedom or even list this as a goal to aim for. As a man I see debt as enslavement, indentured labour. Why as men, in many cases the primary/majority bread winners not seeing this. In some cases it’s the women driving the decisions overtly and sometimes covertly. They want the big ring, big wedding, big house, nice car etc. The men in most cases don’t question this process either, as it’s played out by society as a whole. This is a major part of what constitutes normal, growing up and “maturing”. Everyone else is doing it, so it must be right.

I’m noticing this narrative accelerating as people draw nearer to the supposed deadline of 30 years of age. The specifics will vary, but you get the overall picture. Debt is not freedom, its enslavement.