It’s glaringly obvious to me that I’m avoiding the one thing I desire so much. Women. Recently I’ve moved to arguably one of the better cities (London) for capitalising on daygame and the most I’ve done is around 50 approaches in 2014. I have tons of spare time, I’m in the best shape of my life and to add I have money to travel Europe and enjoy life – not that the last 2 matter much. Yet I keep putting off the most desired action – Approaching women. Since 2011 I’ve dabbled in game/approaching women. I’d say 95% has been daygame/street game, where I feel much more comfortable than bars and clubs. Sometime last year in the middle of my red pill blog binge I read thru the buffers post by Rollo Tomassi and filed it away in my minds museum with some afterthought. After a recent few days, of which I weaselled out from going onto the streets, the thought of this post and this video came to mind.
As per Rollo’s post, Buffers are:
“methods and means men use to reduce their exposure to female rejection. These are buffers meant to reduce the potential for this rejection of intimacy”
Basically I’m shielding myself from women’s rejection by conjuring up a bunch of excuses to protect my ego from the direct feedback I’d receive by approaching. Here’s a list of the bullshit I’m using:
– The weathers crap/rainy/miserable/dark today and girls won’t stop on the street in such conditions, instead I’ll go when it’s sunny and nice.
For those living in London you’ll know the weather is usually crap and waiting for that sunny nice day will never come, good weather in London is like finding a unicorn. Even summer time doesn’t provide any guarantees. I know this, yet I keep pussying out using this excuse the most. There are 2 huge malls in London and people tend to carry on with life regardless of crap weather.
– I’m not in the chatty happy vibe that I need to be in, for hitting on women.
Over the years I’ve proved this buffer false, as many times I’ve gone out not feeling tip top and after approaching I’ve lifted my own state via interactions with women. I think state is fluid and can be altered thru means of connection with other people. Approaching women, especially after a good interaction can lift me up and keep me elevated for a large part of the day. It’s also impossible to wake up and be “on” every single day and to be honest it happens a few days in a month to me. In attempt to get a boost, I’ll have a coffee and then use the previous buffer to weasel out and stay at home.
On the occasions I have made it to central London, I’ll conjure up a few more buffers.
There are too many people here to possibly stop anyone, not enough space, people are watching me, I don’t have a wingman, I’m going solo and other London day gamers will see me.
Just writing this post makes me confront my last few months of outright failure and the amount of time spent in a state of inaction. Failure is probably not the right word, because the lack of action has prevented the possibility of any success or failure. It also makes me wonder how far I could have progressed if I had put myself out there. The weasels/excuses listed above are the surface manifestations and I’m sure below the surface there is a deeper more psychological drive behind these, mostly unknown to me. A long time mentor pointed out, that I don’t believe enough in myself and also, I haven’t faced enough rejection with life in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if these are the forces behind it all.
Writing these very words brings an anxiety into me, a gut churn, a chill, a lump in my throat and a deep introspection. I feel terrible and sad that I’ve wasted up to 5 months of my life I’ll never get back. Regret is painful. I honestly don’t think I have that bad approach anxiety but rather my laziness places a large inertial force on me (me rationalising?).
It’s now or never for me, this is the best opportunity I’ll have in life, the now. I’m in a big happening city, lots of spare time and all other needs taken care of. It’s time to reveal me and put me on the line, take any rejection, learn from it and carry on stronger and more efficiently. A beta bucks lifestyle of no choice and scarcity awaits me if I carry on in the fashion of the last 5 months. It’s time to take a stand and make a change in my life, a painful but necessary one. My intuition tells me it won’t hurt anywhere near as much as my mind thinks it will. Upwards and onwards.
Ra
